What makes a good leader?

WholeLife Matrix: Financial Viability – Resource Management - People – Leadership

“A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.”

 —John Maxwell.”

When you think of a good leader, what qualities come to mind? How does this person connect, communicate, follow through on commitments and treat others? Good leaders have similar characteristics whether they are in business, politics, religion, or sports. Good leaders are not born, but made, and to become a good leader, you must start by leading yourself first.

1.  Create Win-Win Situations

A good leader has a vision for the future that encompasses the good of all. He or she does not want to win at the cost of loss to others but wants to succeed while helping others to succeed as well. This is a primary difference between good and bad leadership. Good leaders understand that you get back what you give, so they focus on being as positive as possible and giving positive energy to others. They are not complacent about things that may not be working but move ahead to find and implement solutions for the betterment of themselves and others.

2.  Courage to Do Things Differently

Good leaders have the courage to take the path less traveled by to explore new ways of doing things. They know that doing things the same way as has been done before will not lead them to discover new ideas and solutions, so they embrace the challenge of exploring new possibilities and taking new paths. They have the courage to face the unfamiliar and keep the faith even in the face of pressure, or when things look hopeless. They take the road of honesty, truth, love and non-violence.

3.  Motivate and Inspire Others

Often, people need motivation, encouragement, and inspiration to get to the next level, whether it is on a business level, such as encouraging an employee, or on a personal level. Great leaders take the initiative to create positive support and give hope, life, and joy in the face of hopelessness and despair. 'Inspiration' means 'breathing life into', which is what a great leader does for people.

4.  Effective Communication Skills

A good leader communicates well with people, connects with them and builds bridges. He or she is approachable, connects people with others and touches their lives. People respect a good leader because they know that the leader will take action and will do as he or she says.

5.  Create Next Generation of Leaders

Good leaders train the next generation and next level of leaders to continue their legacy and encourage leadership qualities in them. They guide and encourage the younger generation so that when it is time to step down, good leadership will continue. It is important to train the next generation of leaders so that they can match the performance of the previous leaders and keep the organization running smoothly.

Are you ready to win?

Communicating with your partner

Matrix Key - Relationships - Significant Other 

Communication



What if love wasn't the act of finding what you were missing, but the give-and-take that made you both match? - Jodi Picoult

Communication is key to any relationship, but it has special significance in your relationship with your significant other.  When you and your partner share well developed communication skills, you operate as a team, and can handle any situation.  When these skills are not developed, even the most innocent remark can be taken out of context and grow into a horrendous fight.  In fact, poor communication skills are a clear symptom of a troubled relationship.

Fortunately, with a little time and attention, good communication skills are surprisingly easy to develop.  Four keys to healthy communication are:

1. Listening - pause during your conversation to make sure you correctly understand what your partner is sharing.
2. Verbalizing - put words with your feelings.
3. Non-verbal cues - watch for body language that matches or differs from the spoken words.
4. Checking In - set aside time on a regular basis for a general review of your relationship.  

The next time you feel completely misunderstood, or find yourself locked in an argument over something inconsequential, stop and look at how you are communicating. Find a way to bring kindness, respect and courtesy back into the discussion.  You will be glad you did.

Career Comeraderie

Matrix Key:  Relationships - Staff and Colleagues

"Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success." - Henry Ford

Some of the most undervalued and overlooked relationships people have are with their colleagues or staff at work.  Because we are all thrown together in an environment outside our personal lives, we tend to not view these interactions so much as relationships but rather as necessary tasks.  Over the past several years, companies have come to recognize the importance of nurturing relationship between co-workers.  Business owners realize that an investment in team building and communication pays off in higher productivity and commitment to success.

High performance teams prioritize working relationships that are built on:

1. Respect
2. Accountability and Responsibility
3. Common Interests
4. Communication

Like everything else in the WholeLife Matrix, you must invest time and energy into these concepts in order to reap the rewards.  If you are a business owner, make sure you schedule events outside of work for employees to have fun together and get to know one another.  If you are an employee, ask a close colleague to lunch so that you can find out what motivates him or her.  The more you have invested in each other, the more likely you are to succeed.

Are you ready to win? 

You and Your Significant Other

Matrix Key - Relationships - Significant Other

"Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies." - Aristotle

When we read the above quote, we realize that even ancient societies understood the power and importance of relationships.  That's why Relationships is one of the four key quadrants of the WholeLife Matrix.  In order to succeed in balancing your life, you must succeed at being in relationship with people.

Perhaps the most important relationship a person can have is with a significant other, the one other person in your life with whom you share love, time, experience, and partnership.  Whether this person is a spouse or trusted friend, significant others must nurture and prioritize their shared commitment.

There are four important actions that are essential to a successful relationship:

1. Mutual Love and Respect
2. Staying Power
3. Time Together - Connection
4. Communication

Many people say communication is the key to a long term relationship.  We suggest that all of the above are equally important, and deserve both partners' attention and action.  To make the two of you into that "single soul" that Aristotle describes, there must be effort on both parts, and a desire to go the distance.

Are you ready to win? 

Family Relationships

Matrix Key:  Relationships - Family

"A happy family is but an earlier heaven." - George Bernard Shaw

They say we can't choose our families, and yet family relationships are among the most important personal connections we will ever have.  From birth, we are connected to, and in relationship with, our family.  You could even say that without relations, there are no relationships!  So why are some of us blessed with close, loving interactive families, while others haven't spoken in years?

In the WholeLife Matrix, we've taken a deeper dive into what makes family relationships work.  In order to have a high functioning family unit, the members must prioritize the following key concepts:

1. Connection
2. Responsibility and Commitment
3. Management Structure
4. Communication

These concepts seem to come naturally to some families, while others must put more time and attention into them.  No matter what, a healthy family must value that family structure, and be able to understand its importance to a well-balanced, fulfilling life.  Your family should be a source of love and support, not a drain on your well-being.  When you take the time to be aware of how the four key concepts impact your family dynamics, you can better understand and embrace your family's unique relationship to you.

Are you ready to win?   

Post a comment - let me know how you see the key concepts operating in your family!

Business Relationships - More Than Just a Handshake

“Make sure the team members know they are working with you, not for you.” – John Wooden, Legendary College Basketball Coach


The value of your business is a function of your relationships. Your relationships with your customers, employees and vendors determines the true worth of your business. The more customers you have, the more employees you will have, and the more vendors you will have. You have to have relationships in order to have customers. The better you are at creating affiliations, the better you will be at growing your business.

Building personal connections begins early in life. First with family, then friends, and then co-workers. We are all trained in relationships throughout our lives. The skills we develop, listening, interacting, speaking and supporting, are the very skills we need to attract clients and sell our products and services. If you are willing to hone those skills, your business and your life will be exponentially enhanced.

People who succeed at relationships are those who have a strong sense of self worth and self confidence. They are willing to suit up, show up, and put themselves out into the marketplace. They are willing to risk rejection and not take it personally. They have the ability to pick up the phone and make the calls that will result in sales.

Part of this confidence comes from a knowledge that we are all already connected. We share this planet, we share this connection called business. It’s not about intruding into someone’s space, it’s about my business helping your business. It’s about my service solving your problem. And the only way we will be able to work together to solve that problem is if we have a relationship.

Take the time to work on your listening and communication skills. Work with your business coach on how to develop better relationships with employees, customers and vendors. Good relationships are a win/win for you and your business.

Are you ready to win?