Relationships - Time With Your Significant Other

Matrix Key - Relationships - Significant Other

Time Together



"Gifts are nice, but relationships don't work without spending time together." Anonymous

Experts suggest couples need to spend fifteen hours of quality time together each week to keep their relationship healthy and happy.  If you have been with your partner for a reasonable amount of time you could probably make a list of ten things that take time away from your relationship in any given week.  

It is important to spend time together actively participating in the same activity.  Maybe you trade off each picking an activity.  Maybe you have always talked about "someday it would be great if we could..."  In order to do so, in the WholeLife Matrix I have identified four concepts to consider:

1. Scheduling
2. Prioritizing
3. One-on-One
4. Larger Groups

As I discussed previously in the blog about time, if you don't schedule something and put it in your calendar, you can have zero expectation of it actually happening.  You need to treat your relationships with the same care and respect you would give to arriving at work on time each day, or showing up for a scheduled doctor appointment or your child's soccer game.

Experts also recommend you spend that time both one-on-one and as part of a larger group.  In fact one great way to nurture your relationship is to spend time among other like minded couples.

Are you and your significant other stuck in a rut not sure what to do?  Here is an inventory you can both fill out to discover new things you might enjoy together. Just schedule something, anything, and get going! Enjoy!

Are you ready to win?

The Importance of Friends

Matrix Key:  Relationships - Friends

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one.' " - C. S. Lewis 

When it comes to relationships, we often think only of the significant other in our life.  But what about friends?  We must also be in relationship with the broader community around us, and develop friendships that will enlighten, support, and enrich us.  A person can have work friends, school friends, church friends, friends from every area of your life, and enjoy different types of relationships with each one.

Just as with your significant other, your relationship with your friends needs to be nurtured and tended.  You may talk to some friends only sporadically through the years, and each interaction is as fun and fulfilling as the last.  Or you may have some friendships that demand more of your attention, and require additional effort to remain viable, but are worth the extra time.

The WholeLife Matrix shows that the keys to a good friendship are very similar to those of a successful significant other relationship:

1. Affinity and Respect
2. Mutual Commitment
3. Time Together
4. Common Interests

 Allowing yourself to be open to new friendships and connections with people in your environment will yield amazing results.  Because everyone needs friends to share the good and bad times, the losses and the wins.  And as C. S. Lewis points out, we each need to see ourselves in the eyes and heart of another as we navigate this life.

Are you ready to win?